Wednesday, March 31, 2004 :::   I''m pleased to note that milwaukee is has a distinguished dialect of our own; Milwaukee is a lone island of enlightened "soda" sayers in a sea of neandertal "pop" grunters and we have a deep connection with the boston brahmins, we two are the only ones wise enough to drink out of Bubblers. Wisconsin in general dosn't get involved in any southren vulgarities like Catty-corner or or "icing on a cake". But I also have to add "put my paynts in the in the bayg please" I must note that minnesota is a hotbed of "whipping shitties" it's also intersting that iowa thinks grass is for parking on ::: posted by Alf at 2:20:05 AM Friday, March 26, 2004 :::   Is my Blog HOT or NOT? you know what to vote ::: posted by Alf at 3:44:46 PM Wednesday, March 24, 2004 :::   something that Terry Holt, the chief spokesman for the Bush-Cheney campaign was quoted saying in the Washington Post today: "John Kerry's campaign seems to be summed up this way: I went to Vietnam, yadda, yadda, yadda, I want to be president." Has the world gone crazy? Liberals are on the side of viet nam vet's. Conservatives are arguing for keynes and a super hawk just came out with a huge critic of president bush. ::: posted by Alf at 1:19:26 PM   think abvout the hip hop skit, almost every hio hop album has one. but in genreak they aqre annoying as shit, but think if indie rock albums had them. it would never had them, thus indie riock artits are major opusssies compared to hip hop artists. indie rock artists dion't push artictic limits that britinany sprears would oush pussiies ::: posted by Alf at 2:15:57 AM Tuesday, March 23, 2004 :::   Stealing an idea from russell, I am going to start a list of blog topics, and I'll post about them all the time so my army of readers will be satiated! Here's the topics! 1. Drunk posts, which have been sadly missing since the glory days of the blog(man I was really obsessed with chinese girls back then, good thing my yellow fever has been replaced by AMANDA fever) 2. Inciteful political commentary 3. musing about 中文 4. Whiny shit about my life 5. Arty pictures, (cause i'm arty) 6. bitching about how stupid my kids are, (just kidding students, I love you all!) 7. Meta-blog comments. (If you don't know what that means you suck) So I'm not drunk, but I'll try to give you a taste of all the other catergories. 2. Wow bush is moron, who woulda thunk it! 3. Chinese is hard, I still can't say the tones, fuck 4. So doug just came to visit, and he promptly got fired from his first job, but that dosn't matter because he is a whiey and can use his powers of oppresion to force a job out of the locals. Dougs from minneapolis and once read this book, which is quite a task, but so is drinking a case of beer and i don't know if doug can do that, but he cleaned my room and broke my toilet so he is that kind of guy. 5. Robot Nipple 6. I tried to teach my kids about psychology today, i think one girl found it interesting, i tried to teach them freudian dream analysis, which is pretty simple if you have any bullshit skills, alas thay did not and seemed to take their partner's dreams at face value. (A dream about eating a pile of chocalate does not mean that your partner like chocalate, it means they have problems dealing with sublimation during the anal stage of development and if they are male is an obvious sign of homosexual tendancies!) 7. Well as I have started writinng this post 4 times only to have it magically disapear, because fucking mozilla can't open a new fucking window, I have concluded that firefox should bend over and take a big dick from bill gates. The fucking program is bloody glitchy as shit it can't read unicode my page loads wriong half the time it sucks. ::: posted by Alf at 1:24:43 AM Wednesday, March 17, 2004 :::   Electron Band Structure In Germanium, My Ass ::: posted by Alf at 12:16:03 AM Friday, March 12, 2004 :::   Disturbing news to report. Recently I have been hearing an increased use of the Japanese word "ka-wa-eeeee" being used by chinese girls. This generally happens after they start groping my hair and sking me if it is real or not. I'll keep you updated on this troubling development... ::: posted by Alf at 3:42:18 PM Monday, March 08, 2004 :::   Damn, Kerry's gonna kick Bush's ass, Look at how he handles the issue of gay marriage "Mr. Kerry replied: "Well, I know the deep beliefs, I respect, I'm a Christian, I've read the Bible, and I know you can find the clauses that go both ways. I'm not here to argue that with you." He continued: "The only point I want to make to you is, I've talked to enough people — some of whom fought for their country in war — and I've talked to many of them who didn't discover their own sexuality until they were 35, 40 years old, and it wasn't because they made a choice, it was because they found out who they were. And I think you have to respect that that is the nature of it. And you can look at it, and argue it, but you know what, that's irrelevant to the argument. American citizens deserve the protection of the equal protection clause."" That's brilliant. Good gaddamn politics, he is really gonna kick bush's ass. (I could never be a politicain, Kerry's response was to a black women who said she was angered by gay people taking up the mantle of civil rights. I would have told her that Bigots come in all color and someone who wants to deny some people the same rights they have is a biggot. then i would have called her a fucking bitch... ::: posted by Alf at 1:07:30 PM   For those of you who can't read chinese, here is the version in english, from dictionary.com This is my first Chinese posting. In order to practice my Chinese, I must use this to record from. Sorry, my Chinese very bad. I want to tell you me first day in Hangzhou. Accurately speaking that, causes this day evening. This day I arrived Hangzhou with the friend wealth. He is called "the fallen leaf". We must go look at Xihu. Very many people said Xihu is the most attractive place in China. We have other friend to live in the Hangzhou very long time, he calls "big", he leads us to go to Xihu. We along Xihu take a stroll. "Oh, good is attractive!" The fallen leaf said. "America has died!" I said. We once have not seen the such attractive place. The moon produces an inverted image in Xihu aquatic, behind Xihu has very many mountains. We realized to this is a specially good place. We arrived in a bar. Inside likes very lively. We were very thirsty. Big said "this bar is very good, we may go in drink several bottles of beer." We open the gate, in the bar have very many people, the Chinese, the foreigner, also has very many beautiful women. I also buy see the Chinese beautiful women. The fallen leaf had not seen, "they are more attractive than Xihu!" He said. We sit, buy several bottles of beer, has a look the person. A girl looks at our very many orders. He likes an attractive fox. Big must go conveniently. He returns to our table time, this girl said "how are you? 帅哥. . . " He is very surprised, she said "please drinks the beer with me" big already to have an attractive girlfriend but he to know I do not have the girlfriend with the fallen leaf. He said "the sentiment sits the fox girl and her friend with ours friend" comes us the table. Big tells the fox the girl he to have a girlfriend, she very disappointed. I try with her to chat, but she likes bored. I thought I than a commander-in-chief. No matter how, the fox girl's friend does like the fallen leaf. She likes an Italian girl. She teaches the fallen leaf a dice game. If the fallen leaf has lost, this girl nips him. The fallen leaf has not known this game, therefore he has lost very many orders. I thought this girl is very good. The fallen leaf cannot say Chinese, I can say a spot, therefore I work as translator. The fallen leaf said "Why does she keep biting me?" I ask her, she said "he is really lovable ha!" I tell the fallen leaf "she says you are cute." He said "well tell her to stop." I tell the girl which nips, "he also thought you are lovable." Then she nips the fallen leaf again. "goddamn it, I thought you told her to stop!" He said. Nips the girl asks me, "he does not like?" "He likes but him also wanting to eat you" I to say. "He cannot nip me! Only female also can nip the boy, the boy cannot eat the girl "I to tell the fallen leaf him not to be able to nip her. The fallen leaf said "what the hell? You were supposed to tell her to stop!" Nips the girl said "good is lovable!" Also nips the fallen leaf the finger. At that time we first evening in Hangzhou. . . " ::: posted by Alf at 1:49:48 AM Saturday, March 06, 2004 :::   this is my chinese post, it's about my first night on the town in Hang Zhou, enjoy! 这是我的第一中文贴子。为了练习我的汉语，我要用这个记自。对不起，我的中文很差的。 我想告诉你们我第一天在杭州。准确地说，使这天晚上。这天我跟朋友财到了杭州。他叫“落叶”。我们要去看一看西湖。很多人来说西湖是最漂亮的地方在中国。我们有别的朋友住在杭州很久间，他叫“大个”，他带我们去西湖。我们沿着西湖逛逛。 “噢，好漂亮啊！” 落叶说。 “美死了！”我说。 我们还曾没看到这么漂亮的地方。月亮倒映在西湖水上，西湖后面有很多山。我们认识到这是一个特别好的地方。 我们到了在一个酒吧。里面像很热闹。我们很渴了。大个说“这个酒吧很好，我们可以进去喝几瓶啤酒。” 我们开门，酒吧里有很多人，中国人，老外，也有很多的美女。我还买看到中国美女。落叶也没看到，“她们比西湖漂亮！”他说。 我们坐，买几瓶啤酒，看看人。一个女孩看一眼我们很多次。他像一个漂亮的狐。大个要去方便。他回我们的桌子的时候，这个女孩说“你好吗？帅哥。。。” 他很惊奇，她说“请跟我喝啤酒”大个早已有一个漂亮女朋友可是他知道我跟落叶没有女朋友。他说“情跟我们的朋友坐一下” 狐女孩和她朋友来我们的桌子。大个告诉狐女孩他有一个女朋友，她很失望的。我试跟她聊天，可是她像无聊。我想我不比大个帅。 不管怎样，狐女孩的朋友喜欢落叶。她像一个意大利女孩。她教落叶一个骰子游戏。如果落叶输了，这个女孩咬他。落叶没认识这个游戏，所以他输了很多次。我觉得这个女孩很好。落叶不会说中文，我会说一点点，所以我当翻译。 落叶说“Why does she keep biting me?” 我问她，她说“他真可爱哇！” 我告诉落叶“she says you are cute.” 他说“well tell her to stop.” 我告诉咬的女孩，“他也觉得你可爱.” 然后她再咬落叶。 “goddamn it, I thought you told her to stop!”他说。 咬的女孩问我，“他不喜欢吗？” “他喜欢可是他也要吃你”我说。 “他不能咬我！只女还能咬男孩，男孩不能吃女孩” 我告诉落叶他不能咬她。 落叶说“what the hell? You were supposed to tell her to stop!” 咬的女孩说“好可爱啊！”，也咬落叶的手指头。 那时我们第一晚上在杭州。。。 ::: posted by Alf at 5:58:44 PM Wednesday, March 03, 2004 :::   alright, so I don't post anymore. hey yah, shit now I can't get the song out of my head. (here in china we are a bit behind the times) So as I said about 5 monthes before i'm in a bit of a blog funk. What to do, what to do. I mean I guess there are things bouncing around my head, but they don't seem to be forming into coherent posts and there is nothing so boring as a blog post about your fucking blog (ahem) But maybe i should start to spell maybe I should swear more less talk about raunchy shit speak to my bloody intenllectual level instead of this bullshit anti-intellectual tone I take cause I'm too damn lazy to write coherent sentances. I don't know, guess I'm just happy no problems at all, ('cept the fact that i need t figure somthing else to do besides being a lazy ass chinese teacher) ok here you go a final thought, need to get to sleep so i can wake up next morning anf think of something to teach. So i've been as lazy as i've been in five monthes when it comes to studying chinese. I mean I can't make myself sit down and look at my notecards for five bloody seconds. But during this bloody lazy period i've started speaking a lot more chinese to random people. (and I'm a fucking untalkative guy, "fuck your problems", so this is a real step) , but i had a conversation at the xiao long bao stand about the oscars, barrell lady asked me about why the bitches across the hallway moved away and the pocket sandwitch guy told me I have a beautiful beard. so there it is, my chinese is progressing, but at a rate which constantly shames me, (if i had some balls my chinese would be fluent in 3 monthes), yet at the same time I am actually able to learn something and communicate. Aii maybe I should parlay it in to smoething worthwhile. I'm almost bloody 25 yet i still post drunken comments here and think they are the cleverest shit anyone has evercome up with... ::: posted by Alf at 1:43:54 AM © A. A. S. H.

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