ZUCC: Recruitment Call
Zhejiang University City College, the university where I have taught for 3 1/2 years, is currently looking for new foreign teachers for the new semester beginning February 9th, 2004. Absolute requirements are (1) native speaker of English from the UK, Australia, Canada, New Zealand, or the USA, and (2) a four-year degree (B.A.) or its equivalent.
Preference is given to:
1. Females (we love ’em, but we currently lack ’em!)
2. Brits (we love ’em, but we currently lack ’em!)
3. Experienced teachers (the school loves ’em!)
The Sinosplice ZUCC page can give you more details than I’m going to write here.
If you are qualified and interested, please e-mail me ASAP (not just leave a comment), with your resume. We are trying to fill the position before January, 2004. I’m reluctantly leaving ZUCC (I truly love it here) after this semester, so this is probably the last time I’ll be helping recruit teachers.
If you want more of an idea about what you are getting into, you can dig into my archives (good luck, it’s still a mess!) or peruse the blogs of some of my co-workers. Carl, Russell, Greg, John B (back online soon!), and Alf all have their own blogs.
Wow, I was under the impression that ZUCC had already filled their foreign teacher roster. I’ve personally received a half dozen inquiries on teaching at ZUCC thanks to the Sinosplice Mirror. Anyways, I’ll let them know from now on.
I hope some ladies join the ZUCC ranks because with the current setup, there is way too much testosterone & “sinobling” going on there. I’m pretty sure the girls at the university are happy but I’m sure the university boys are hatin’ it. Their number one suggestion on how to improve ZUCC was to add more female foreign teachers. It’s safe to say that the ZUCC crew will be happy with that as well. Good luck.
Do you have any pics of girls at ZUCC? This could be the deciding factor for my application there.
hehe, spoken like a true EFL teacher! I would also like to add my recommendation to working at ZUCC – now that John won’t be there, it sounds very attractive!
poor irish people, not welcome at zucc!
Any Chinese school that hires Asian Americans as English teachers is alright with me. And you can’t beat the living accomodations. As an added benefit: you get to be in close proximity to the lovely Chen Yao, whom I had a chance to thoroughly annoy the only time I met her. HA!
ZUCC in Spring of 2004:
Greg, 25, extremely intelligent, quasi-single guy with a sharp wit, Apollo-like body, and occasionally crazy, cool hair. The man who will help me start a Queer Eye For The Straight Guy in China except that we are not gay, only metrosexual. His fashion sense is on point, his taste in wine immaculate, and he has a very large…………he is blessed.
Russell, 29, also stunningly bright, has a thing for languages (and that includes the language of love), the looks of a 25 year old, but the stability, maturity, and experience of a man twice that age. Russell is the cool older brother that some of us had and some of us never had.
John B., 24, my intellectual equal (we think the same ways about some shit) and a realist (god bless you), he can bench more than any of us, and when he isn’t too busy macking on our chinese tutor, he is kindly, patiently listening to my daily stories about my most recent squatting experience. Expect this from me no matter who you are, this is very important.
Alf, 23, the man with the Da Shan looks and the Da Shan mind and the Downs Syndrome spelling ability is already taken ladies, so back off! This boy can also put up the weight and put down the beers. If you are looking for a hysterical night out this is your wingman. Don’t forget the baijiu however. The day he becomes available again, if ever, the ladies of ZUCC will throw a spontaneous parade in celebration with floats and confetti and beads.
Nathan, somewhere in his 20’s I am guessing, just saw his pic and resume yesterday. He looks simply badass. Ladies he is a hottie Aussie and speaks French, Slovak, and Portugese to boot. He has travelled the world, probably has many stories to tell, and may or may not be single seeing how I have never actually met the man.
Carl, 22, me. I am wicked attractive. I rule in bed. I am a bit of a slut, but would settle down with the right girl (you?). I am one of the funniest people I know, I often crack myself up, which is sad, but whatever. I am also highly intelligent, in fact more so than you, so deal. I am by far the best football player here on campus and I have never been offsides. When it is sunny out I get in these crazy moods and have to do lots of fun things. When it is cloudy or stormy I retreat inside for quiet activities, like watching 24 and West Wing. I like balloons, sharks (especially fuzzy ones named Fred), commercial avaition, and music. I dislike clowns greatly. My chinese blows, but that is changing, soon I will be fluent in Russian, Vietnamese, Cambodian, and Nepalese just by geographical association. I am that good. Not that crazy Cantonese though, that’s just crazy.
And finally, you. Female preferably. In your 20’s. Ready to have alot of fun with 4 of the best guys I have ever met (Nathan will most likely be number 5) and myself. Also, Hankuh your addition here at ZUCC would wrack my body in waves of ecstacy; don’t hesitate, APPLY NOW!
Yo Carl,
I have a wife. I don’t want to die, but hey, I can dream…she can’t stop that, at least right now.
I’ll be E-mailing you my resume in the next day or so. I was born in Scotland, so even though I don’t fulfill the British requirement, I’m not circumcised, so that should add some variety to ZUUC.
Most Americans don’t know Scotland from Ireland, much less the Chinese. You’ll come in as a limey, pure and simple. Or more likely, a “laowai.” And I’m glad you’re uncircumsized. It’s the major advantage of being born in Europe rather than in America: boys get to keep their foreskins!
And…..sorry…..why again is that a good thing?
Because it doesn’t make any sense. You know, in some Muslim and African countries, people practice female genital mutilation, but circumcision is not any different. You’re lopping off a part of boy without first asking him. If a doctor were to ask me if I want my kid circumcised, I’d probably bitchslap him.
The 2 major arguments for circumcision is that it 1) controls masturbation, and 2) helps keep “it” clean. Now, think about it: do you really believe circumcised men masturbate LESS than uncircumcised men? Of course not! The second argument is even more stupid since you don’t cut off your arms just to keep your armpits clean, do you? Soap was invented for a reason. In not mutilating their boys, European doctors–and Chinese ones too–are infinitely more civilized than American ones.
Yeah, I’m planning doing my doctrinal thesis on the Preservation of Foreskins in Disposable Societies. It’s a fascinating subject to bring up when things are going slow on first dates or at Bar Mitzvahs.
Also, per E-mails this morning with Chen Yao, I am the new teacher at ZUCC. Look forward to meeting you guys.
hmmm curious, I was wondering if you could give a good argument for masturbation? You know something I could teach in class….I happen to think masturbation is civilized, so if I take that approach, I want to present a cohesive plan, any suggestions? Last time, I checked I was circumcised; however, I have preserved my forty three year old foreskin, and tradition holds in these parts, that penile foreskin can be a highly expensive aphrodiac, so if I lose my job, and I need train money to Hangzhou, I believe I can sell it at a reputable price. Hey let’s keep this going. It’s Christmas Time!
Well i thought id chime in to this discussion. My name is Logan, i have been viewing this site for about 5 months now and actually was recently offered a job at ZUCC for next year(assuming i get my degree in June, which i will), which i immediately accepted. Im a senior at the University of Oregon, I speak German, have a bit of a language obsession, and couldn’t be more excited to get to Hangzhou (If you have ever been to Eugene, Oregon you would understand.)
Like doom, i look forward to meeting you guys. The blog entries i have read in the last week or two have caused me to wet myself from laughter, many times in front of other students. It’s embarrasing.
Anyways, i really havent jumped on the “blog” train yet, but if anyone wants they can “hit me up” with an email, i’ll holla back.
Logan
i noticed that too, jen. i think john was thinking ireland is part of the u.k. (??)
logan, i feel you. one of my best friends from college is from oakridge, so i’m familiar w/ eugene — been through it a few times. at least you can boast of being home to the house where “animal house” was filmed. 😉 (you ARE old enough to know what i’m talking about, right?)
We are healthy only to the extent that our ideas are humane.