Two Ways to Trust

My friend Wayne likes to come up with interesting questions and then pose them to his friends. His latest question was, “How do you make someone trust you?”

He posed this question to a male Chinese friend. That friend’s answer was:

> There are two ways:

> 1. You can tell that person all your secrets.
> 2. You can give that person all your money.


One of Wayne’s past questions can be found in the entry Versions of Truth.


John Pasden

John is a Shanghai-based linguist and entrepreneur, founder of AllSet Learning.


  1. Da Xiangchang Says: November 6, 2005 at 10:17 am


    Not a bad question, but is it as good as the one about Brad Pitt and the female orangutan? 😉

  2. It seems to me that if they don’t already trust you then they may not believe you have told all your secrets or given over all of your money.

    People tend to project their own views onto others…so if one makes every effort to win the trust of another to the point that it is reasonable to expect and yet they don’t trust you…then it’s likely you shouldn’t trust them.

  3. DXC,

    Definitely not. That is one of the best questions ever.

  4. for some reason your site did not accept my comment earlier. I think you can’t ‘make’ someone trust you. Trust is something you earn.

  5. Tequila.

  6. My trust can be bought for $50.

  7. Ask them to do you a minor favour: nothing big or risky, just put themselves out a little bit. Most people will, we’re mostly predisposed to cooperate. When it’s time to return the favour, do so. As Prince Roy said, trust is earned.

  8. Yes, I’m aware that trust is earned. But “how do you earn someone’s trust?” is a lot less interesting of a question. 😛

  9. you earn trust by being trustworthy…haha

  10. Wayne asked me this question about 3 years ago and it’s a good one to ponder if you have time to shoot the sh*t. The almighty answer: a handle of Vodka, Stolichnaya preferred, a splash of Lime Cordial, a stainless mixer, high ball glasses, pour mix on the rocks, serve accordingly, in a couple hours of madness at a trademark ZUCC Laowai Party, throw in the towel literally, fresh towel at that, access to shower with a new toothbrush, minutes later, magic goes down – now that’s trust. Unnnnnngh!

  11. i have noticed that people pay me to be able to trust me. granted, i am already trustworthy; but people come into my office, take off all or most of their clothes, lie on my massage table under a towel, and trust that i will make them feel better. i do have a legally required license that says i have had the training to do what i do, but that doesn’t automatically make a person good at it. not only do people trust me w/ themselves, many people tell me personal things while i work on them.
    bartenders and hairdressers have similar experiences.

    this doesn’t actually answer the question unless you want to interpret what i’ve said here as, “ask them to pay you.” 😛

  12. I’ll tell you what John, if you send me all of your money, I’ll let you know if I trust you.

  13. Sad to seee all Bullshit answers going on when such a wonderful and a sensible question is asked. Stop People you have enough social websites to take your non-sense to…

    Trust as someone said is earned and not taken: some of the things that can contribute to trust are (Personal Relation as well as professional relations):

    Open Communication
    Empowered to take decisions

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