In Your Face, Beijing

The People have spoken through their partner, The China Daily, that unrivaled bastion of integrity on a never-ending quest for Truth. There has been a new survey on the top 10 most livable cities in China.

I am compelled to make a few statements.

  1. What number is Beijing? Oh, I see… it’s not on the list. It’s at a distant #15. (Take that, Roddy, Brendan, and Eden!)

  2. Hangzhou is #6. True, it’s not number one, but modesty is a very Chinese virtue, you know. (Plus with weather and transportation like Hangzhou’s, it really doesn’t deserve to be #1.)

  3. Continuing with the modesty trend, Shanghai is sitting pretty at #8. Also, 8 is a lucky number in China. (Score!)

  4. Speaking of lucky numbers, there’s an unlucky number too, and it’s 4. Due to unstoppable homophonal forces, 4 is the Chinese number of death. Which city got the place of death? Chengdu. (Take that, Chengdu!)

  5. Tianjin is not on the list at all. What a shame. (Take that, Micah!)

  6. Xi’an is not on the list either! (Take that, Matt!)

  7. So #3 on the list is… Mianyang? Mianyang? Huh?

  8. The #1 city is Dalian. I have a friend who used to trumpet Dalian’s wonders to me nonstop, until he forsook it for Hong Kong. I guess a lot of people agree with you, buddy. (Take that, Derrick!)

Thanks to chinochano for discovering this story before me and writing about it in a post with more CSS image floats than you can shake a stick at.

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